More reader comments/questions (8)

Q. I am reading this book called "how I paid for college." I am beyond disgusted. It's like he ate all the pages of your fabulous book and then proceeded to shit out his novel. He is so obviously trying to be you. I think you should kill him. (katy, m-town)
A. Haven't read the book, but that course of action seems a bit extreme even for me. You could nail him with a zinger at instead.

Q. is nick dressing up like a robot today? [Halloween, '05]
A. Nick has moved on and is now dressed like a 1958 Isetta mini-car. The lone door is in the front, and he's hoping someone cute will open it.

Q. I love all your books' bout Nick Twisp, but the matter is in Hungary just the first 3 books were published. I really want to read the 4. and the 5. book too. Your sincerely: (Dóri who likes Nick very much, Budapest)
A. A nasty (but common) predicament. Your only hope may be to pester the Hungarian publisher.

Q. I picked YIR for my book club (maybe a bad choice for a mothers club, but I LOVED it!) I was wondering if you might have discussion questions available? Thank you so much. (E.N., Petaluma, CA)
A. You're talking to a guy whose idea of discussing a book is to mutter, "Yeah, I guess I liked it." Reason 214 I didn't major in English. Well, you could always discuss how Nick is like (or unlike) his parents, and why he is so obsessed with you know who.

Q. First I want to say that I am extremely delighted about the upcoming book. I take French in high school, and I'm really excited about one day studying abroad. But seeing as Nick only knows the word sourcil, and he hates "Frogs" he probably isn't looking forward to his venture. My question is, did you have to go to France recently to research for your book? Or have you been there so many times that you know the Champs Elysees like the back of your hand? (flygirl, Kalamazooo)
A. I was in France for two weeks about ten years ago. This puts one at a disadvantage for writing a novel set in France, but then I haven't spent that much time in Uriah either. I customarily limit my travels to places where you can drag an Airstream (or at present a Boles Aero or Bigfoot trailer). I had to make up most of the French stuff, but as Nick points out that is what fiction entails.

Q. Which book talks about maple syrup? I friend of mine raved about it and I'm chompin' at the bit to read it! (Tonia, Bar Harbor, ME)
A. Are you sure you have the right author? I'm drawing a blank on the maple syrup reference.

Q. I buy 5 part of Nick Twisp. I read now all books again. I enjoy for reading of 5 part. I enjoy for Nicks adventures in my country (Czech). Thank you for all books! (Patrik, Holesov, Czech Republic)
A. Thanks for your comments. Stay tuned for Book VI, which I'm writing now.

Q. Wait a second! In your last post, you mentioned Book VI. Was that a joke - or was that serious? Thanks! (byron, ashland, OR)
A. No joke. The title will be Revoltingly Young: The Journals of Nick Twisp's Younger Brother. Yes, Noel Lance Wescott has taken pen in hand and . . .

Q. Please forgive my ameri-centric perspective, but how odd it is that I would visit your website and read that yes, the next Nick Twisp book has been written yet is not yet available -- unless apparently one reads Czech. Researching the czech language, I note that it is only spoken by twelve million people. It is not the official language of Slovakia, which of course speaks slovak. What sympathy I now have for the poor people of Czechoslovakia! Not only were they under the collective heel of the iron boot but apparently they were forced to mingle with people who did not speak a common language. Or maybe they were all forced to learn russian. There are too many accent marks for me to attempt to learn czech. I suppose I could try to find someone to translate it for me, but as I understand currency conversion, the euro is worth a bit more than the dollar, and I doubt people would find it worth their while. Perhaps you are working on an english translation that might be purchased sometime soon? Or ... perhaps if it was available in a more accessible language, like german, french, spanish, or japanese. Please continue to work on this and I promise to send you small amounts of money. (David, Pasadena)
A. David is one of my favorite readers. Such loyalty over the years is to be commended. I love his gentle sarcasm. We are all waiting forlornly at the bus stop for some big U.S. publisher to drive by and pick up Nick et al. Meanwhile, disgruntled Czech readers are grumbling about the ending of a book that Americans can't read.

Q. Do you have any plans to re-release the first books with the parts that are cut out. FYI waiting for Book V is killing me. (Paul, Charleston, SC)
A. Doubleday owns the rights to the first book, and they see no problem with depriving readers of ten percent of the text.

Q. Hi again, I just wanted to say thanks in advance for writing a book 6, and for book 5 which I haven't yet read. I must say I'm a little disturbed that Nick won't be writing book 6, and my imagination is filling with horrible visions...what happens to Nick?? Still, I wait patiently for the U.S. edition. In the meantime I've temporarily sated my craving for YIR by buying myself a true first edition. It's in beautiful condition, and you MUST autograph it someday. In other news, I've owned a copy of YIR for a good ten years (since eighth grade) and it's been reread probably once a month on average. My parents, who know very well that it's my favorite book and have asked me about it on occasion, have never been allowed to read it until a week ago. My father read it first, and then my mother read it immediately after. I fear I'll never be able to look them in the eye again without remembering this. They loved it of course, though my mother keeps talking about what a little pervert Nick is. They're also tremendously excited to read Revolting Youth and the upcoming Young and Revolting. I guess it all turned out well in the end. So, any progress with the U.S. publishing houses, or should I bite the bullet and learn Czech? Your devotee, (Liz-e, Santa Cruz, CA)
A. What nice readers I have, and how I hate to torture them like this. If a U.S. publisher doesn't bite in '06, I'll publish both books myself. It's not like there's no interest in these succeeding books. Revolting Youth is now in its third printing--most unusual for a self-published title. It sold as many copies in 2005 as Youth in Revolt, which is from a major publisher.

Q. Is there any chance you could make a mailing list for people to give updates on the publication and other news, because as much as I like checking the website for updates everyday,... yeah. Thanks a bunch and good luck with everything! (no name, New Jersey, USA)
A. I wish we had the mental capacity to do that.

Q. How old will Nick's younger brother be in Revoltingly Young? (no name, Carmel)
A. Fifteen. You were expecting maybe 42? (This makes Nick 29 by my math.)

Q. I was curious as to your mental abilities with anagrams - are you, like Sheeni, a wizard with doing them in your mind? Or did you cheat when writing the novel and use a computer or some other source? (no name, Conway, NH)
A. No wizard here, I had help from a computer.

Q. I am an aspiring 16 year old writer who loves your books and was wondering how should I go about getting my stories published? Thank you. (James, Willowick, OH)
A. As usual, my advice is to: 1. Get rich and buy your own magazine. 2. Get rich and buy your own publishing company. 3. Get famous through some other line of work. 4. Become a celebrity by dating someone famous. Or, 5. Ask this question of someone who hasn't had to publish most of his stuff himself.

Q. Other than the t-shirt already for sale on this site, are there any plans for more YIR merch? I'd like an Albert stuffed animal. (grover, San Diego)
A. No more Nick cargo for now, alas.

Q. Hi, I am obsessed with Nick. Thanks. Will the Young and Revolting and Revoltingly Young be released in the UK? I have converted many Brits to the Twispian way of life. (Lee, Sheffield, England)
A. At the very least you should be able to order the US editions over the Web when they are published here. I'm glad to see Nick is making inroads in the UK. At one point in Book V he remarks how much he'd rather be living in London than Paris.

Q. I reread all Nick Twisp books again and am dying of Nick Twisp withdrawal, is there any chance you can maybe post the first couple pages of Youth in France? It would be GREATLY appreciated!! (B.R., Ithaca, NY)
A. Your wish is our command. Samples are now available on the home page.

Q. Hi, as a Slavic fellow, I love your books. If, by some miraculous raising of funds, would you be able to speak for a Library, or University? I'm not sure about a Library, as your work isn't New-Age Poetry or a treatises on Feminism. (no name, Portland)
A. I am always available for speaking if the remuneration is sufficient, and frankly I'm something of a cheap date.

Q. Good Morning! I have been a regular visitor to your site for a few months now, always scrolling to the distressing, pink "Sorry, no USA publication date yet for either novel" box below this form. I have read through the Q&A section on this topic, and see no immediate hope for change there. So I wanted to toss out a potential "fix" for the die-hard fans you're likely getting lots of mail from. Have you considered the possibility of creating PDF versions of the unpublished books and making them available -- for pay -- via email? I'm trying to think of why this would be a bad idea for you, but I'm only thinking of one concerning issue. Technically, if one of us buyers secretly hates you, we could go through the trouble of transcribing your text (PDF prevents cutting and pasting, etc.) and doing something with it before you publish. But I'm not sure that's too big of a threat considering that I assume from reading your posted mail most everyone who makes it to your site is already a huge fan of your work and wants to see it keep coming! Also, since the books are making headway in Czech, I figure you must already be a copyright holder in some way shape or form. Personally, I would be delighted to pay you full book price for electronic copies of both books V and VI right now. And I have to assume that the profit margin on that exchange would be much, much higher than if you had to pay someone to print them for you first. AND, since I am already in the habit of collecting signed copies of all of your books, I'd still order the final versions and send you pleading fan letters when they do come out. If the idea still makes you nervous, I'd be happy to keep the entire exchange our little secret, if you prefer. I'll be hoping to hear back that I have an initiation to send you a check! (Lake, Sheboygan, WI)
A. I have thoroughly explored ebook publishing, but the potential for piracy leaves me queasy. As it is, my printed books are generally passed around until they fall apart. Believe it or not, I do need some income from this enterprise to make it worthwhile.

Q. Just thought you'd like to know that I purchased my 8th copy of YiR the other day, and my third copy of Revolting Youth. They wear out so fast... (no name, Conway, NH)
A. I appreciate your support. This is a trend that must be encouraged.

Q. Do you know what happened to the production of "Party Animals"? (no name, Cody,WY)
A. I haven't heard much lately about the pigeon movie. It appears to be in abeyance. I continue to be amazed that any movies at all get made in Hollywood.

Q. We have publication dates! Thanks so much! I'm looking forward to the day where I can place an order. Still, the description of Book VI strongly implies that the "Youth In Revolt" series is over. I only say "strongly implies" because I've seen a stronger statement of "It's over" turn out to be somewhat overstated once before.) Any plans to start new books, or a new series? (no name, Sheboygan, WI)
A. It ain't over until the fat lady sings, but in Nick's case I think she's warbling with finality. I have some ideas for new books, but I hope to get everything over in one volume from now on.

Q. Just read the samples, they are great. Guessing from the covers, one can only assume that you got a publisher. When does it come out. (katy, millington)
A. Can't pin anything down more definitely than "fall" right now. Will post an exact date when I get one.

Q. YAYYYY!!! They are coming! They are COMING! I spread the gospel of the REVOLT series every where I go. I am soooo happy that you are continuing to bring joy to my own twisty turny life. (no name, Salem, OR)
A. Keep up the good work yourself.

Q. I just wanna congratulate you, the cover art looks GREAT and the samples are hilarious. At first I wasn't sure if hearing about Noel would continue to hold my interest but it's fascinating! (B.R., Ithaca)
A. Personally, I think Noel's at least as interesting as Nick. They are both Twisps after all.

Q. Please release Young and Revolting and Revoltingly Young in the UK, I'm suffering withdrawal symptoms. Amazon charges £45gzillion to ship to the UK, And no-one's read them quick enough to flog em' on eBay either...(Lee, Sheffield, England)
A. Sorry, no interest yet from UK publishers. Any readers want to sell their used copies on Ebay?

Q. Hello Mr. Payne. I have a deep & powerful love for all of your books. I want to thank you for your (Or should I say Ms. Penelope Pliny's) thoughts of "grappling with Visigoths in the streets." It helped me get an A on an essay. I cited it, of course. =] It would be interesting for you to rewrite YIR from Sheeni's point of view. What do you think of that?
Thanks (no name, Ann Arbor, MI)
A. Many people have suggested that, but it fails to excite me. I don't think we really want to know what's going on in her head (as if I had a clue).

Q. Hey, did you know that the movie Drop Dead Gorgeous starring Kirsten Dunst is based on Civic Beauties? I didn't know that, but wikipedia told me so. (no name, Ann Arbor, MI)
A. Wrong! Wikipedia seems to be full of bad info. On a more positive movie note, Dimension Films has a director at last for the Nick Twisp movie: a Swedish director of commercials named Fredrik Bond. I'm told that pre-production work has commenced.

Q. Hi! I just got your book "youth in revolt" from an american friend. Iv been laughing from page one. The book is hilarious and really well written and I just love it! I wanted to ask you if you know if the book will ever be translated into Swedish? Not that I have a trouble reading it, but some of my friends doesnt really master the language of English and I really would like them to read it, ´cause its so fucking great!! (Ida, Orrefors, Sweden)
A. No interest yet from Swedish publishers, but perhaps the forthcoming movie (2007?) will rouse them from their sloth.

THE END -- You get extra credit if you've read all the way to here. Congratulations!